As the summer hands over its duty to autumn slowly, it announces that the end of the year is approaching. When cleaning starts at homes, storms of reckoning blow in the heart. In some, there may be a storm, in others, a blizzard…
What a cold air wave that hit my face when I opened the bookshelf! Ah, of course, it was coming from among the books I left unfinished. They were frozen because I couldn’t finish them, falling on me like an avalanche.
A feeling of guilt suddenly enveloped my body. I had hurt them by abandoning them, even starting a new book. Actually, this wasn’t my intention. I couldn’t bear to finish some of them, I started some with excitement, and I couldn’t continue some due to busyness. I had wanted to make it harder to approach the ones I couldn’t bear to finish by taking a break, I had loved them from a distance. As if I felt that they would lose all their beauty once I finished them. Unfortunately, I had such habits! For instance, during my university years, when I went to Üsküdar, I used to admire the Maiden’s Tower. Even if a few of my friends said, “Come on, let’s explore the inside,” I couldn’t go. When I went there, I felt like the Maiden’s Tower would lose its charm, and I was afraid of any harm to it because of me, so I would step back.
Now, I had to win the hearts of these books. I had raised the white flag and extended my hand to reconcile. I carefully stroked them and took them into my hand. I rushed to get pen and paper to prepare a list. After doing the bookkeeping, I signed an agreement to finish them all within a month. I put them by my bedside and we started warming up to each other a little more each day, becoming allies. Sometimes they would tell me their stories, sometimes I would tell them mine. Then one of them said, “Why did you leave us?” Wasn’t he right, of course, but I had my reasons too! Besides, what is there in this life that’s not left unfinished? If you looked at the desks of the wise scholars who have passed away, how many works he was writing or how many books he was reading had been left unfinished… Perhaps they were continuing their journeys on the mysterious paths of the stories they left unfinished, from the threshold of the door opening to infinity. With this, we can realize that the unfinished pages not only represent uncertainties and deficiencies, but sometimes also contain life’s surprises, unexpected beauties, and learning opportunities.
We don’t know which page of the book of the universe we are on! The stars, planets, and galaxies in the sky contain the deep secrets of the universe. Scientists try to understand how the universe was created and how it works by turning the pages of this cosmic book. However, only a scientific approach is not sufficient to understand the whole book. The verse in the Qur’an, “How many a sign there is in the heavens and earth that they pass by, being unmindful of the signs and giving no consideration to them.” (Yusuf, 12:105) emphasizes that we need to understand the deep meanings of the signs in the universe. By reading the universe, we can turn the pages of this magnificent book created by the All-Merciful and discover the meanings within.
“You said reasons!” said the other red book by my bedside! True, when delving into the universe, suddenly time was also hitting the shores of relativity. “Have you ever heard of ‘abibliophobia’?” I asked. When I said abibliophobia, it might seem like people invented fear out of boredom. But the “fear of not finding a book to read” is not something to be underestimated. “There are plenty of books, where did this come from?” you might say! Well, in this digitizing world, finding printed books is becoming increasingly difficult, and not every book is touching to the heart, dear!
Sometimes, when I read a book on the couch, and another one from the open bookshelf waves at me and says hello, I can’t help but give in to my curiosity! Don’t get mad, just wait! You all are my faithful friends, I might reread some of you and set off on a cosmic journey again. When the steps of the stairs of life get denser; even if I can’t read on that day, I’ll open and close your covers. The smell of the book blends with my soul, and I forget my tiredness.
In fact, human life is like a book; every moment and experience is like turning a new page. However, sometimes the pages of this book can be left half or our stories can be interrupted, and it may feel like the meaning of life is lost in the uncertain lines of the future. This reminds us that predicting the future is almost impossible and that we have no guarantees of anything, and tells us that every moment can turn into a new surprise.
Who knows, maybe each of the unfinished ones is a manifestation of the stories and meanings in life, and completing them is an important step in finding our own story and meaning. Don’t let yourselves be scared by thick books or old (but vivid) words…
Come on, let’s start then, in the Name of God! I intend to finish the unfinished.
