Yazar: Elvan Safyürek
There are times when the weight of the world becomes so unbearably heavy, and the burdens needed to be unpacked builds up until time itself slows, suspending all in its grip. When there is an intense powerlessness that everything feels beyond reach and so hard to grasp, get a hold of, control. Suddenly you notice a piece of hair on the floor, or the dirt lining the edge of the wall. Had I noticed that before? Or had I noticed the faint tingle on my cheek, the hunch of my back, the strain in my neck, the subtle itch on my scalp? Had I noticed the distant hum of the wind – or is it rain? It was now so obvious that my stomach had bloated, my foot twisted in a tight position and my toe was throbbing. The chair was angled slightly to the left, there was an earthy fragrance in the air, a string of wool suspended from the couch, the cupboard door stood ajar. It’s moments like these where everything around you exists with such vivid intensity that their presence seems to eclipse your mere occupation in this strange space.
It is in these times that your vulnerability becomes profound, transforming into the very essence of your existence, for truly, you breathe by the permission of Allah swt. This truth, above all, keeps you grounded, keeps you sane. So I remain blissful in this strange occupation, suspended in an ethereal dance of existence. My racing thoughts produce a harmony as the edges of every shape become melodies of a familiar song. The wallowing of the rain transforms into a rhythmic remembrance; tap tap tap. How foolish would I be to deny my blessings when I’m grieving? The hum of the rain becomes heavier, now a harmony of the earth. How foolish would I be to not feel the peace of the rain, to deny the love of Allah swt where he sends rain?
